


When everything is new (don't be afraid)

by Tangerinetoad



Series: it must be fate, i found a place for us [3]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Apologies, Cussing, Family Dynamics, Family Reunions, Fluff, Gen, Healing, Men Crying, Older Sibling Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, Phil the father, Piglin Hybrid Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal Thoughts, Technoblade Has Braided Hair (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Has a Heart (Video Blogging RPF), There's A Tag For That, Tho its never stated, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Winged Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), You have no idea how happy I am to use those tags, almost forgot that one, for a tiny bit, it is happy though i promise, just a sliver of angst, no beta we die like Bob when Bernard got to him, the start of it at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:12:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29012592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerinetoad/pseuds/Tangerinetoad
Summary: Three years has changed Tommy, but has it changed his family?OrThe Beginning of Something
Relationships: Bernard & Being a Smug Bastard, Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit & Clementine, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, all platonic bith
Series: it must be fate, i found a place for us [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2113320
Comments: 26
Kudos: 570





	When everything is new (don't be afraid)

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO I actually wrote this several days ago and then let it sit so I could edit my own work for once. Don't worry tho, I then forgot and did a very quick read over just now.  
> This is a sequel to A quiet life for small hands, so maybe read that first!
> 
> TW// So there is one part that could be triggering, it starts with "When Tommy had first come to the land" and ends at the next --. It's not important to the overall story, so you can definitely skip it if you think suicidal ideation and accidental self-harm (kinda) would be harmful to you. I had a few rough patches during writing this and wanted to express that not everything was nice for Tommy at first. But I think that's the only warning! 
> 
> Also I THINK I MANAGED TO DO SOME HTML AYYYY

Once, when Tommy had been newly exiled and Dream had been away, he’d crafted a boat and sailed out past the biggest waves. Out there the only thing that surrounded him was the endless stretch of deep blue sea. He’d spent hours out there, staring up at the clear sky, trailing his fingers in the cold water. He liked to watch the sea birds flit about, calling to each other as they dove in and out of the ocean.  
  
Dream had blown his boat up the next time he visited, along with all the other things he’d built in the man’s absence. He hadn’t yet been used to the feeling of loss each explosion caused. That night he’d curled up under his scratchy wool covering and cried.  
  
A month later, he fled for the plains.  


\--

  
Three years later, he found himself remembering the feeling of floating in that boat, unmoored and set adrift. It was a shock to his system, that feeling after so long, and it was being caused by the people he was staring at. He was sure he looked dumbstruck, but who could blame him, given that he was currently staring at his estranged father and brothers, one of whom shouldn’t even be alive.  
  
At least the others weren’t much better, looking just as shocked as he felt, though he could also see relief in their eyes. They were standing as though they had been ready for a fight, though their weapons were now drooping towards the ground. With a _clang_ , Wilbur’s sword actually fell from his hand, although none of them seemed to pay it much attention as Wilbur launched himself forwards.  
  
  
For a moment, Tommy flinched back, bracing himself for some sort of hit or yell, curling his arms around Clementine on his chest. Instead, he was greeted with the feeling of warm arms around him, the heat of Wilbur’s alive body spreading to him as the man pulled him closer in the hug. It was a little awkward with Clem right in the middle, but as Tommy cautiously uncurled his arms to reciprocate, he couldn’t help but melt into it. He hadn’t been hugged like this in so long.  
  
As Wilbur attempted to squeeze Tommy to death, at least that’s what it felt like, Tommy peeked over his shoulder, finding himself immediately making eye contact with Technoblade. The hybrid looked almost exactly the same, same long braid, same small tusks and floppy ears, but perched on his nose were a pair of eyeglasses, held together by a piece of tape. It made him look simultaneously softer and like a librarian who would kill you for your late fees. He wasn’t broadcasting any particular emotion, like usual, but he didn’t seem angry at least.  
  
From beside him, Phil caught Tommy’s attention with a muffled sob. He had his hand clasped over his mouth, eyes clearly watering. His wings, which held so many childhood memories for Tommy, were curled inward, as though he was hugging himself. “Tommy.. oh my god.”  
  
His voice.. it was exactly as Tommy remembered it. That slight accent that he’d never admit to having. The way he said his name. Except, it wasn’t exasperated fondness coating his words this time, no, it was guilt? And he sounded so sad. But also relieved?  
  
God this was confusing.  
  
In her sling, Clem started fussing, probably tired of being pressed against Wilbur’s sweater. At her whimper, Tommy was immediately distracted, pushing Wilbur away and looking down at her, gently shushing.  
  
“Um. Tommy. Why do you have a baby? Did you steal someone baby?!”  
  
Wilbur’s voice sounded the same as well apparently. Tommy scowled at him on reflex, not stopping the way he was now swaying to soothe Clementine.  
  
“First time I see you in three years and that’s the first thing you say to me. For your information, bitch, she’s mine.”  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Tommy saw Phil take a step forward, but he didn’t look away from Wilbur’s bewildered face. He looked like he was trying to do extremely advanced math. It was kind of hilarious. Technoblade, when he glanced at him, looked like he was having an aneurysm, which was the most emotion he’d probably ever expressed in front of Tommy.  
  
“What-what the fuck you had a baby? How- this isn’t possible cause last time I checked, babies can’t have babi-”  
  
“What Wilbur is trying to say,” Phil finally cut in, making his way down till he stood next to Wilbur, Techno on his heels, “is that we missed you Tommy, god, we thought we’d never see you again. And now you have a baby!”  
  
He gestured to Clementine with both hands.  
  
“You missed me huh? Well you didn’t seem to miss me much in exile, and that was three fucking years ago, so I dunno what you’ve come looking for now.” Tommy was glaring for real now, as it hit him that his family was actually standing in front of him.  
  
Phil looked, at least, abashed. His wings, which had started to stretch out slightly, as though hopeful, pulled back in, wrapping around him once again. It felt a little good, being the one scolding instead of being the one scolded.  
  
Techno looked like he was going to protest, but Phil shook his head at him and he quieted. Something sour settled in Tommy’s stomach at the wordless communication. He and Phil had never been like that. Hell, the only person who could always understand him, even when others couldn’t, was Tubbo. It just reminded him of what he’d never had.  
  
“I know. I know I should’ve visited, should’ve helped you. I was so caught up in.. Wilbur’s death, I don’t even know what I was thinking, I don’t know why I thought leaving you with Dream would be safe. I’m _so sorry_ Tommy, and you don’t have to forgive me, but I’ve, _we’ve_ , been searching for you for so long. Just, let me look at you before you tell us to leave?”  
  
For a long moment, Tommy just watched him. It was strange, so strange, to see the man who’d raised him apologizing. He certainly didn’t feel any forgiveness settling into his bones, but maybe, just maybe, he wouldn’t mind having them around for a little while.  
  
“C’mon, it’s time for lunch or else Clem is gonna start screaming. I need food before any talking.” Tommy said, turning on his heel and heading for the house. He suppressed the shiver that came at turning his back to anyone.  
  
Behind him, the other three exchanged glances and followed.

\--

  
Lunch was a strange affair. For one, Tommy didn’t have enough chairs, seeing as he never got any visitors. The others had not noticed his dilemma, as they were busy exploring his main floor. Techno had made a beeline for the bookshelves as soon as he’d registered them, excitedly running a hand over their covers. The librarian comparison was seeming pretty fitting.

Wilbur was still having a crisis over the whole baby thing, so Tommy had just sat him down on the couch. Phil meanwhile, had hovered awkwardly in the doorway while Tommy bustled around, trying to find a solution. Eventually he’d settled on dragging Clementine's highchair over to his counter, and then sitting himself on the counter to feed her. Phil's eyes had been on him the whole time, he knew. He felt content to ignore him though.

As he flew a spoon like a bird towards the baby’s mouth, he cleared his throat. “Are any of you hungry then? There’s stew in the chest next to Techno. And for fucks sake Phil come into the house, you’re letting the wind in.”

His three guests all stared at him. When he did nothing but raise an eyebrow and continue feeding Clem, Techno shrugged and started rummaging through the chest he’d indicated. Phil stepped inside, closing the door gently behind him and sitting down in one of the three chairs Tommy owned. Techno emerged victorious after a second, and handed both Phil and Wilbur a bowl, coming to sit down himself after.

Wilbur dug in as soon as he had a hold on the bowl, simply slurping it, while the other two judged him and brought out spoons. Tommy had to hide a smile behind his hand at the sight. It was quiet for a while, besides the noises Clementine made while she half ate half made a mess.

Phil broke the silence first.

“So,uh, where’s her mom?”

“SHE’S ADOPTED!” was his very prompt answer, from Tommy, who’d started to turn red at the ears. “-I mean, hm, she’s adopted! Yup. Got her from a friend, long story, she had to run, dangerous for babies, blah blah blah, I’m sure you’re not interested.”

Wilbur, looking over the back of the couch, looked very interested, but was stopped from asking questions by Techno’s monotone voice.

“What’s her name?”

Wow, Technoblade had actually gotten even more monotone since Tommy had last heard him speak. That was kind of weird.

“Clementine. After a friend.” Tommy smiled reflexively, conveniently not mentioning that the friend in question had been a cow. A very nice cow, but still a cow.

“Well, that’s a nice name!” Phil was also smiling, with an almost proud expression on his face. Techno just grunted, but it was less of a grumpy grunt than usual. Wilbur had the expression of having just witnessed something adorable and his brain wasn’t able to handle it.

He’d forgotten how weird his brother was before he’d gone insane.

With that sobering thought, Tommy decided that this was quite enough bonding for today. Just because Phil apologized and complimented his baby doesn’t mean he’s forgiven. Hell, the other two hadn’t even broached that elephant yet. Technoblade had hardly spoken.

“Alright then, it's her nap time now actually so if you’re going to stay for dinner you’ll have to be quiet. She gets grumpy when she’s tired.” Without waiting for an answer, Tommy scooped Clementine out of her chair, wiped her face off, and bustled upstairs.

Alone with Clementine, he took a moment to just hold her close, and keep his tears at bay.

\--

  
When Tommy had first come to the land he’d made his home, he hadn’t had much to smile at. He’d been tired, skinny, always shivering at the cold nights. The stars had seemed so far away the first few nights, as he’d drifted off to the sound of crashing waves. Sometimes, he’d wake up and his hands would be too cold to grasp any tools, or even start a fire. On those days, he’d huddle into his wool pile and hold his hands close to his chest, rubbing them together as fast as he could.

The skin of his hands had quickly grown irritated. It wasn’t a particularly pleasant time, and the little things only served to annoy him more. He was irritable and snappish. The lonely feeling that had haunted him in exile was starting to creep up on him. The silence that greeted each ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ seemed to echo in his ears, burrowing into his brain.

For a while life went like that. Tommy felt small, alone. If you stood on the hill on clear nights, the stars would reflect on the ocean surface and it would feel like you were in space, surrounded by nothing but little dots of light. He liked to stand there and imagine he really was up above. Maybe life would be better if he were to leave.

You probably couldn’t feel lonely if you were dead. No pain, no worry. No people to disappoint, just you alone in a void. No obligations.

Tommy didn’t know what exactly stopped him from jumping on those days. Perhaps whatever had stopped him all those times in exile.

He’d smiled one day, at something innocuous, a chicken chasing another chicken through the field, and had felt a sudden pain from his mouth. When he’d raised a hand to it, his bottom lip had been bleeding, split right in the center. The cold had chapped his lips so much that smiling had split it.

Tommy had pressed down on it, on some strange whim, and relished the ache it produced. It felt therapeutic, to cause himself pain. It was on his own terms. He couldn’t tell if it was a punishment or a reward.

When he took his hand away and realized what he’d just done however, Tommy felt a little sick. Was this what life had come to? He knew this behavior, had seen it in Wilbur. It would do him no good to follow in his footsteps.

He wiped his hand on some grass and went back to chopping logs for his house.

\--

  
After he was sure he’d scrubbed any evidence of tears away from his face, Tommy had descended back downstairs. Without Clementine to focus on, it was a lot more overwhelming.

While he’d been gone the other three had converged to the couch, muttering to each other. Technoblade and Phil were a lot more stiff than Wilbur, who was slouched into the various pillows he had for late nights. Upon his return though, Wilbur straightened up.

“..”

No one wanted to make the first move.

Sighing, Tommy dragged his hand over his face, trying to ground himself. He could start on dinner, that’d give him something to do with his hands. Although, they’d literally just eaten lunch.. damn he really didn’t know what to do with guests anymore. Not that the people currently in his house were strangers. Might as well be though.

“So uh, I’ve got some chores to do, so if you want to talk you’ll have to walk with me. Didn’t get to feed fuckin’ Bernard yet and the last thing I need is him breaking out again.” He shuddered at the thought. That was a horrible morning.

The others looked intrigued at the mention of ‘fuckin Bernard’ and all hurried up, with the exception of Techno, who had his image to maintain.

“Wait, what about Clementine? Will she be alright?” Phil questioned.

“Yeahh, I just lay her on a nest of wool and put pillows around her, hasn’t failed yet.” Tommy answered, waving a hand through the air. Phil looked faintly troubled, but kept his mouth shut. “Dude, you literally used to leave me with those two, when they were like ten!” He gestured to Techno and Wilbur, who both grimaced.

“That’s true Phil, kinda surprised he lived actually..” said Wilbur.

“Speak for yourself, I was great at taking care of him.” Techno broke in.

“You gave me a real sword and told me to hunt for dinner.”

“And look at you now! My methods work.” Techno crossed his arms, a small, self satisfied grin on his face.

Phil coughed, interrupting what Tommy had been ready to quip back. “As amusing as this is, Tommy didn’t you say you needed to feed Bernard?”

“Oh fuck-” Tommy dashed out the door, not waiting for the others to catch up.

His barn still looked fairly new, thanks to some superior waterproofing if he did say so himself, and he’d recently placed a path of cobblestone to it from his house. It took him very little time to reach it running, so while he waited for the other three, he opened the doors at both ends. The sliding mechanism made it so much easier to do with one person and he was glad he’d stolen the idea from the village.

By the time he’d done that, Phil and the other two had caught up. Tommy just looked at them for a minute, drinking in the familiar green and pink and brown. It still kind of felt like a dream that they were there. Silently, he pointed to the feed bags at his side. Might as well get some free labor out of this.

He assigned Phil to the chickens and Wilbur to the sheep, then motioned for Techno to pick up some hay and follow him. He’d been tempted to make Techno feed the pigs, but they still had leftovers from last night. It felt a little too on the nose anyway. Or should he say snout? Man, he was starting to think Phil’s presence was bringing out his dad humor.

Techno being at his back made him tense, but he forced himself to relax. It was time to introduce Techno to a truly evil creature after all.

“Technoblade, meet Bernard, the most loathsome hell spawn ever to exist. Bernard, meet Technoblade, he’s the blood god or whatever.”

“Didn’t know you knew such big words Tommy.”

“Eh fuck you Techno.”

Bernard and Techno made eye contact, almost as though they were sizing each other up. Bernard, surprisingly, was first to look away, munching on his hay as though nothing had happened. Tommy could physically feel his mouth drop open.

“What.” said Techno, looking at Tommy.

“He’s never done that before.. I- oh my god my whole world has been changed- all I needed this whole time was for Techno to stare at you?! Seriously Bernard, where was this attitude when you nearly killed Bob-”

“Why didn’t you come to me?” Techno’s voice cut through Tommy’s spiel, weirdly gruff. Tommy blinked at him.

“-Huh?” he asked, eloquently.

Techno huffed and looked down, now muttering. “I said, why didn’t you come to me? When you ran away.. I know- I know we weren’t on the best of terms, but you had to know I’d have helped you.. right?”

Tommy observed him. Now that he was looking, it was apparent that Techno wasn’t as put together as he had seemed. His braid looked messy, as though it hadn’t been rebraided in a while, and his eye bags were deeper than usual. Even his crown didn’t shine as much.

Suddenly his stoicism made sense. He was trying to hide his guilt.

“..Deep down I knew. But three years ago, I was angry. I was bitter, starved, tired, even suicidal. And all that kind of buried the other stuff. I thought- well it doesn’t matter what I thought. But it wouldn’t have been good in the long run if I’d come to you.” Tommy sighed. “Look Techno, I forgave you for the whole L’manburg thing a while ago. At some point, being out here made me realize that I had my own part in the wars. Hell, I treated you like a weapon.”

“I’m still sorry Tommy. Whatever part you played, you were a kid. And Wilbur shouldn’t have dragged you into that, and I shouldn’t have egged him on and when it was all said and done, I still killed your best friend. I wish you hadn’t been forced to come this far for peace.”

This was probably the most honest conversation Tommy had ever had with Techno. Maybe the three years hadn’t only changed Tommy.

“Well, I did get Clementine out of it. I wouldn’t change getting her for the world.” he smiled. “Enough of the emotions, I know you’re dying to go bury your head in a book and pretend this never happened.”

Techno rubbed his neck sheepishly, quick to follow as Tommy left the barn. Tommy did see him make the ‘i’m watching you’ sign at Bernard before they left though. It brought something warm to his chest that stayed even as they met up with Phil and Wilbur at the entrance. Phil seemed to sense that something had happened, but all he did was smile at them.

Tommy returned the smile, feeling less like a boat floating in the ocean and more like a bird lifted on the wind.

\--

  
Dinner that night was nice, if quiet. He was sure they had been expecting him to chatter about his day, but Tommy hadn’t had anyone to converse with in a long time. Clem could babble all she wanted but she wasn’t quite the conversationalist he was.

Instead, Tommy was content to sit back and listen. Phil asking for the salt, Wilbur complimenting the chicken. Techno remained silent like him, but his face was relaxed and he asked for seconds.

After dinner, Tommy set Clementine down in the living room for some toy time. As soon as he brought out her toy chest she went for her rattle. Tommy had carved it for her when she was about two months old. Figuring out how to fill it with small pebbles had taken him a whole day. The leather covering was faded with age and covered in tooth marks. It was clearly well loved.

Techno, who was sitting on the couch with a book, looked unimpressed with the noise it was producing.

Deciding that she would be safe enough as long as Phil was there, Tommy went back to the kitchen to do dishes. Phil might not be the greatest caretaker, but he was far more competent with babies than the other two. Wilbur hadn’t had to suffer through the sleepless nights with Fundy; the shapeshifter aged faster than humans. He’d been a toddler within a week. In fact, his aging had only slowed down once he was a pre-teen. Tommy had been thrilled to have a new playmate, and incredibly confused about Wilbur's baby.

To his surprise, Wilbur followed him to the sink.

“Let me help,” He held up a hand to stop Tommy’s automatic protests. “Cook doesn’t clean. You know the rules.”

Tommy sighed, but switched positions with him. Now Tommy was drying and Wilbur was washing. It was like they were back in their childhood home, standing on stools to reach the soapy water. No wars, other than that stupid potato war Techno had gotten into. They’d eaten potatoes for literal years after that, even after selling most of them.

“Hey Tommy?” Wilbur broke the silence. Tommy hummed in acknowledgement. “I missed you.”

Tommy glanced at him sideways, observing his profile. Just like Technoblade, Wilbur had deep eye bags. His skin was paler than it had been in Pogtopia, but pinker than when he’d been Ghostbur. In Pogtopia, his hair had often been unwashed, covered in stone dust and greasy. Now, his curls bounced, shiny in a healthy way.

He still looked sad.

“I missed you too Wilby.” Tommy said, voice a whisper.

“You know, when they brought me back to life? First thing I looked for was you. I wanted to hug you, apologize, just see your face and remember. That’s when we realized you were missing. Phil went crazy, thought you’d killed yourself. Tubbo had a funeral and everything. I thought you were gone Tommy, that they had brought me back to a world without you.”

He sighed, breath shaking, and Tommy realized that there were tears trailing down Wilbur's cheeks. He hesitated a second, unsure, then threw himself against Wilbur's side, clutching his sweater. Wilbur, arms still wet, twisted to face him and hugged back. They stood like that for a while, long enough that Phil came to check. Upon seeing the scene, he left quietly.

Tommy let go first, starting to feel the effect of Wilbur’s wet hands on his shirt. They both wiped their eyes, making sure to avoid eye contact as they did.

“Why did you come looking for me, if you thought I was dead?”

“Tubbo gave us his compass at your funeral. Said he didn’t deserve it anymore. We didn’t have much to do, cause Dream took off when your death was announced, so Techno couldn’t kill em, and we decided to follow the compass. We thought we’d find a raccoon or something with it. And then we found you!”

“So none of you thought to follow the magic compass before you declared me dead? I’m starting to see why that nation failed the first time.”

Wilbur grinned. “Alright child, we were all blinded by grief, it was a weird time.”

Tommy laughed and picked up his abandoned dish towel. “I’m gonna need some more chairs I guess. Help me finish the dishes, we’ve spent enough time crying like pussies.”

“Whatever you say, FatherInnit.”

“Shut the fuck up Wilby, you have a kid too!”

In the living room Techno and Phil both smiled, Techno pretending to read and Phil watching Clementine play some sort of game with her blocks. The fire crackled in the hearth, the flames leaping higher as Tommy and Wilbur started shrieking, the sounds of water splashing increasing.

Outside, the stars shone brightly, reflected on the ocean's surface. Somewhere far away, beyond human perception, a smile grew, lit by the light of glowing freckles.

Inside the house, a family began to heal.

\--

**Author's Note:**

> So how was that? I'm pretty sure I'll write some more of this universe, cause theres a lot more bonding needed before everything is good, but yeah! I wanted to get this reunion out to feed you starved souls.
> 
> We're gonna ignore everything to do with the timing of this story, because I made a choice with the timeline and now I'm confused. Who knows how long it took them to figure out he was dead, and then finding him took a while because traveling.
> 
> Idk if you could tell that I'm a oldest sibling with this lol. I cannot remember ever actually like emotionally apologizing to my siblings, our fights are usually just forgotten about eventually, so if the apologies sound ooc its cause what sibling says sorry? They needed it tho so.
> 
> This fic had like 4 names while in my docs and I ended up using none of them. 
> 
> Also, fun fact, when it is cold my lip splits almost every time I smile, and that was kinda an inspiration for that whole part.
> 
> (Stay tuned for Techno being cool in a corset, Tommy being a dad, Phil making an effort, Wilbur meeting Bernard, and BROTHERLY BONDING)


End file.
